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#41
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hahahhahahaha
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.....MY99 WRX..... |
#42
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3rd Man to ever walk on Water
The 1st one was Christ... The 2nd one was Peter (the apostle)... After him was this guy from the picture ...
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[COLOR="Red"]I have the right foot of Subaru death![/COLOR] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] 365hp and 515nm New Beast to arrive April 2015 - 365hp, 450nm, 0-100 in 4.4sec. AMG Goodness! |
#43
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hhaha id be runnin on water also if i had one of those things after me. Crazy shit
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#44
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ROFLLLL
also u forgot 4. Chris Angel - MindFreak !! |
#45
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Why I fired my secretary...
Last week was my 40th birthday and I didn't feel very well when I woke up that morning. I sat there at breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "happy birthday." I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came into breakfast and didn't say a word. so when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Linda said, "good morning, boss, happy birthday!" it felt good that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock and then Linda knocked on my door and said, "you know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "thanks Linda, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" we went to lunch. but we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. we had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Linda said, "you know, it's such a beautiful day... we don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. what do you have in mind?" She said, "let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment Linda turned to me and said, "boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back." "OK." I replied, somewhat nervously. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "happy birthday" and i just sat there... on the couch... naked. |
#46
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mahuahuahauhuaa.......LOL.....
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MY00 Impreza WRX [LTDGC8] its not ONLY boyz who drive nice cars!!!! |
#47
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Got this a week ago
25 WAYS TO IMPRESS YOUR GIRL >>> >>> >>> >>>1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" >>>this will >>>keep her on her toes, and girls love that. >>> >>>2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of >>>weakness (or >>>if >>>she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she >>>cries. This >>>will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are. >>> >>>3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. >>>Girls are >>>like dogs. They love to be roughed up. >>> >>>4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. >>>If she is >>>say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This >>>will >>>show >>>her you care. >>> >>>5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might >>>be her >>>fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, >>>and every >>>girl needs some improvement. >>> >>>6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then >>>when she's >>>sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because >>>jewellery is >>>for pussy's and Asian ladies. >>> >>>7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. >>>When she is, >>>stare into her eyes mouth the words f**k you and grab the other >>>girls >>>arse. Girls love competition. >>> >>>8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so >>>she thinks >>>it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire >>>yard. >>>When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and >>>now you're >>>really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she >>>starts >>>crying >>>and asks why you would do something like that lean over and >>>whisper very >>>quietly into her ear "...because I can." >>> >>>9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those >>>special nicknames. >>> >>>10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD. >>> >>>11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your >>>jacket... >>>then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if >>>you don't >>>stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching >>>about a >>>black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear. >>> >>>12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to >>>the >>>bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when >>>the >>>party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you >>>at the >>>party. >>> >>>13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small >>>pet. Kick >>>the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls? >>> >>>14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait >>>10 >>>minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes >>>home >>>and you can use your arms for more important things. Like >>>basketball. >>> >>>15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit. >>> >>>16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give >>>her >>>self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she >>>deep down >>>desires to be. >>> >>>17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: >>>shoes, >>>earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of >>>the >>>pair. This way she'll go crazy. >>> >>>18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order >>>interrupt and >>>say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a >>>guy that >>>speaks for her. >>> >>>19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love >>>a >>>spontaneous guy. >>> >>>20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your >>>smell on it. >>>But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm >>>talking about. >>> >>> >>>22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell >>>her no. >>>This way she'll think you're mysterious. >>> >>>23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her >>>material >>>objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that >>>she keeps >>>you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever >>>get. >>> >>>24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or >>>just >>>whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you >>>know she's >>>coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the >>>present >>>visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this >>>one that >>>much but I think it's funny. >>> >>>25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, >>>promise >>>her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will >>>make >>>sure >>>that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going >>>to tell >>>her >>>a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. >>>That's >>>also quite funny
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PerthWRX - Where gay singles meet! |
#48
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11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your
>>>jacket... >>>then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if >>>you don't >>>stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching >>>about a >>>black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear ROFL |
#49
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Larry and Bob wanted to go out drinking, but they only had $2.00
between them. Larry said, "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and spent the $2.00 on one large sausage. Bob said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Larry replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." They went into the pub where Larry immediately ordered two double shots of Jack Daniels.. Bob said, "Now you've lost it! Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money to pay for this!" Larry replied, with a smile, " Don't worry - I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Larry said "OK! I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you get on your knees and put it in your mouth." Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, bar after bar, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth bar, Bob said, "Larry - I don't think I can do this anymore. My mouth is sore and my knees are killing me!" Larry said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage at the third bar!"
__________________
[COLOR="Red"]I have the right foot of Subaru death![/COLOR] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] 365hp and 515nm New Beast to arrive April 2015 - 365hp, 450nm, 0-100 in 4.4sec. AMG Goodness! |
#50
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lol Jaron.
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email, funny, post |
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