Something To Offend Everyone
 

after the better drivers thread I thought it might be good to have something that offends everyone so..

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in year 9.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Pepper spray will do that to you .

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and a English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

lol... Nice one Dave

HAHAHA funny cnut!

Since this post is ment to offend, here I go.

Whats worse than 5 dead babies in a trash can??
1 dead babie in 5 trash cans.

hahaha
How do you stop a baby swinging on the clothes line?
With a cricket bat

How do you stop natives from going into your backyard?
Hang one out the front

[QUOTE=sleepy]Since this post is ment to offend, here I go.

Whats worse than 5 dead babies in a trash can??
1 dead babie in 5 trash cans.[/QUOTE]
the author of this thread takes no responsibility for further additions to the list!

bwwahahahahahah

hahahah :D

DISCLAIMER: as this thread is ment to offend, i have posted the items below...i do not wish to reinforce what they refer to, i do not find them funny...the items in this thread are not meant to be funny...



edited by impreza_GT:Playing on my conscience - too offensive!!!

hahahahahahha

n.b hahahaha only for Dave's posts :p

The others are sick