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DAN682 12-04-2010 04:35 PM

New Financial Plan for the People of Oz
 
This is the best E-Mail I have received yet.

Well done Labor Voters.

Before you start reading this... I give this thread 2 pages before it gets locked... maybe even 1 :)

Here goes:



John is 63 years old and owns a small business.

He's a life-long Liberal and sees his dream of retiring next year has all but evaporated.

With the stock market crashing and new taxes coming his way,

John assumes now that he will work to his dying day.

John has a granddaughter.

Ashley is a recent university grad.

She drives a flashy hybrid car, wears all the latest fashions,

and loves to go out to nightclubs and restaurants.

Ashley campaigned hard for Kevin Rudd.

After the election she made sure her grandfather (and all other Liberal family members) received a big I told-you-so earful on how the world is going to be a much better place now that her party is taking over.

Having lost both roommates, Ashley recently ran short of cash and cannot pay the rent (again) on her 3 bedroom townhouse...

Like she has done many times in the past,

she e-mailed her grandfather asking for some financial help.

Here is his reply:



Sweetheart, I received your request for assistance.

Ashley, you know I love you dearly and I 'm sympathetic to your financial plight.



Unfortunately, times have changed.

With the election of Kevin Rudd, your grandmother and I have had to set forth a bold new economic plan of our own..."The Ashley Economic Empowerment Plan."



Let me explain.

Your grandmother and I are life-long, wage-earning tax payers. We have lived a comfortable life, as you know, but we have never had the fancier things like European vacations, luxury cars, etc.

We have worked hard and were looking forward to retiring soon.

But the plan has changed.

Your Prime Minister is raising our personal and business taxes significantly.

He says it is so he can give our hard earned money to other people.

Do you know what this means, Ashley?

It means less for us, we must cut back on many business and personal expenses.

You remember the wonderful receptionist who worked in my office for more than 23 years? The one who always gave you candy when you came over to visit?

I had to let her go last week. I can't afford to pay her salary and all of the government mandated taxes that go with having employees.

Your grandmother will now work 4 days a week to answer phones, take orders and handle the books.

We will be closed on Fridays and will lose even more income to Bunning’s & K-Mart.

I'm also very sorry to report that your cousin Frank will no longer be working during the school holidays in the warehouse.

I called him at school this morning. He already knows about it and he's upset because he will have to give up skydiving and his yearly trip to Antarcticato survey the penguins.

That's just the business side of things. Some personal economic effects of Rudd’s new taxation policies include none other than you.

You know very well that over the years your grandmother and I have given you thousands of dollars in cash, tuition assistance, food, housing, clothing, gifts, etc...

But by your vote, you have chosen to help others -- not at your expense --but at our expense.

If you need money now sweetheart, I recommend you call 02 6277 7111.

That is the direct phone number for Parliament House in Canberra.

You yourself told me how foolish it is to vote Liberal.

You said Mr Rudd is going to be the People's Prime Minister, and is going to help every Australian live a better life.

Based on everything you've told me, along with all the promises we heard during the campaign, I'm sure Mr. Rudd will be happy to transfer some stimulus money into your bank account.

Have him call me for the account number which I memorised years ago.

Perhaps you can now understand what I've been saying all my life: those who vote for a prime minister should consider the impact on the nation as a whole, and not be just concerned with what they can get for themselves.

What Rudd supporters don't seem to realise is all of the money he is redistributing to illegal aliens and non-taxpaying Australians (the so-called "less fortunate") comes from tax-paying families.

Remember how you told me, "Only the richest of the rich will be affected"?

Well guess what, honey? Because we own a business, your grandmother and I are now considered to be the richest of the rich.

On paper, it might look that way, but in the real world, we are far from it.

As you said while campaigning for Rudd, some people will have to carry more of the burden so all of Australiacan prosper... You understand what that means, right?

It means that raising taxes on productive people results in them having less money; less money for everything, including granddaughters.

I'm sorry, Ashley, but the well has run dry.

The free lunches are over. I have no money to give you now.

So, congratulations on your choice for "change."

For future reference, I encourage you to try and add up the total value of the gifts and cash you have received from us, just since you went off to university, and compare it to what you expect to get from Mr. Rudd over the next couple of years.



I have not kept track of it, Ashley.

It has all truly been the gift of our hearts.

Remember, we love you dearly.....but from now on you'll need to call the number mentioned above.

Your "Saviour" has the money we would have given to you.

Just try and get it from him.

Good luck, sweetheart.

Love, GrandpaXX

EXPLICIT 12-04-2010 04:40 PM

No more penguin surveys!!!!! :(

jEstEr? 12-04-2010 04:41 PM

too many words

American Dave 12-04-2010 04:47 PM

exactly Rudd has plenty of words but his answers are always the same.."spend the peoples money, tax the rich and give to the needy"

tiddy 12-04-2010 04:52 PM

so basically we get fucked over and the coons get to go shopping.
It's because the price of sniff, durries and flea shampoo has gone up.

confuzion 12-04-2010 04:54 PM

longest email ever.. but fair point haha

DAN682 12-04-2010 04:55 PM

I was expecting to come back and already see this thread locked.

Be back in half an hour to check again :)

I am sure it is a bullshit email, however it reads so well and makes good points so Win!

Bones 12-04-2010 05:11 PM

so true... i cant believe people swallow labors crap, when theres a problem theres never any solutions exept throw money at it throw it at anything that seems like a good idea at a whim!

i've been saying for years if you vote labor you will get labour for your trouble!

phizzle 12-04-2010 05:19 PM

Cool story Pop

fobz 12-04-2010 05:34 PM

my eyes are bleeding. Must stop...


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