Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and
slipped over on the bathroom floor.
Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband Bruce.
"Bruce, Bruce" she yelled.

Bruce came running in.
"Bruce, I've blinkin' suctioned myself to the floor" she said.

"Struth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up.

"You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his
mate).
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.

"No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Cobba said.

Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"?

"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break
the tiles under her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba

"Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and
play with her boobs."

"Play with her boobs"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that
mate?"

"No" Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we
can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive".