It's weird the bolts are that tight, i know Subaru employ gorillas in their facory to tighten bolts, but they aren't usually so tight that i'd consider them impossible to undo, especially with some sort of pole over the spanner, should give plenty of leverage/torsion to undo em.

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God gave us feet...so we could work the pedals properly

That wasn't a U-turn! It was two consecutive right hand turns.