DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE
IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!!
WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear Australian Labourites, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Gillard, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but
the whole of this latest election process has made me realise that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of
future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.


Our two ideological sides of Australia cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can
smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a
similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively
easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets
since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to
the labour judges and the CFMEU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our
firearms, the cops, and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil
industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep the
ABC left wingers and Kerry O'Brien. You are, however, responsible for
finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all of them.

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Woolworths and the Stock Exchange. You can have your beloved lifelong
welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and
illegal aliens. We'll keep the budgie smuggling, bike riding, volunteer
firemen and lifesavers greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and
give you ABC and Bollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and
war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll
help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Penny Wong. You can also
have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take
every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep "Waltzing Matilda" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy
to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya"
or "We Are the World".

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle
up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our
flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded
liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will
need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an Australian

P.S. Also, please take Lindsey Tanner, Wayne Swan, Peter Garrett and Jenny
Macklin with you.

P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our
country.

__________________
Funny looking German Subaru