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Old 21-04-2011, 04:43 PM
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Default Tools to work on cars

Picked this idea up from another forum. A tongue in cheek look at some of our automotive tools.
Sure everyone has a favourite or two...

CHEATER BAR: Section of 2” round pipe, 4-10’ long that is used to destroy any expensive socket, breaker bar or pipe wrench attached to a nut or bolt previously tensioned by the incredible hulk.

RATTLE GUN: An electric or pneumatic impact device designed to round off nuts and/or destroy sockets with greater ease and speed then manual methods such as the cheater bar, pliers or vice grips.

OPEN ENDED SPANNER: Cleverly designed by the manufacturer to be too long/short/wide/thin or on the wrong angle to get at the nut, bolt or hose fitting properly, resulting in bruised/skinned knuckles and the loud exclamation of colloquial words.

RATCHET SPANNER: Once thought to be the saviour of bruised/skinned knuckles, the ratchet spanner is now known to strip the ratchet without warning, causing even greater bruised/skinned knuckles and louder exclamations of colloquial words.

MIG WELDER: A tool that requires you to spend 5 minutes climbing on or under something with a welding helmet & gloves on, only to find that one or both leads are too short to reach the back of the weld or a small obstruction has stopped the castors rolling, resulting in having to climb out/down to reposition the tool. This tool is also good for running out of gas and/or wire when important welds are half completed.

MAGNETIC SCREWDRIVER: A tool designed to lull the user into a false sense of security when lowering/raising a screw into a hidden or inaccessible position. Typically the screw will fall into a dark crevice or important part (such as an alternator) where a three hour dismantling job is required to retrieve it.

TELESCOPIC MAGNETIC PICK UP: A tool designed to retrieve screws dropped into dark crevices, however more useful at attaching itself to anything steel on the way to the dark crevice and not picking up the screw, resulting in a 3 hour dismantling job.
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