I wrote this elsewhere.

I was 11.

Its a tragic moment to watch a hero die - but in my case, he wasn't really my hero at the time. We didn't have social media, rolling 24hr coverage of the sport, or even very good coverage outside of the Australian race.
It was 1994, Michael Jordan was at the height of his powers (well until his mini retirement), and I was a kid who played basketball and was lucky enough to have met most of the Perth Wildcats - James Crawford was closer to a hero than Senna was. NBA on TV Saturday mornings meant basketball was my first love.

However, for some reason, and I have no idea why, I loved car racing. My dad wasn't into cars, I had no older brothers or relatives to steer me that way, but something just clicked and I from a young age loved cars. I watched Bathurst and as much of the ATCC as I could. F1 was harder, but I watched however I could. I believe my first memory of Senna was Murray walking screaming "that's Senna spinning spinning spinning" as he spun the McLaren is the horrid conditions in Adelaide, but I would have been 7 and I am not sure if its a true memory or one I have built. Regardless, I knew the Senna name.

At the time, Channel 9 had delayed coverage of the races here in WA. I would be told to go to bed, but would sneak up and watch them in our spare room. If my old man happened to wake up and find me, I would cop it, but was well worth it. That's about all I want to say about the actual race itself. I have a good copy of it on my hdd, but have yet to actually watch it from start to finish. I just cant. You know what happens and I simply don't want to see it.

I remember going to school the next day upset and sad, and no one understanding why. I am glad as time went on to find I am not the only one. End of the day never met, saw or knew the man. But you don't need to. History tells us everything you need to know, and why people, 20 years on, still mourn his loss as a F1 driver and as a person.

His stats are remarkable considering the level of competition and the cars he drove. Sure, he had a dominant McLaren for a while, but he also had shitbox Lotuses, McLaren's and Tolemans. Was he the fastest driver ever? In my mind, without a doubt, on pure pace he was the best by far. As for best driver ever? Drivers have more wins, titles, etc, and we all know he wasn't perfect in his actions. People will argue this one forever and a day. I prefer a fast guy on the limit so to me I would give him that as well. Its little wonder why I like Lewis - he came into the sport driving very much the same way.

Anything I really write here is a rehash of what others have already said many times over. But as a person he seems to have been incredibly smart, and importantly, caring. His charity still helps thousands of kids in Brazil every year, and no doubt will continue to do so for a long time. Almost as important as his talent was what he did for Brazil - a country in poverty given a beacon of hope. He was almost a god there, and in Japan, which as a nation loved him. Just watch the pics and footage from his funeral - the sheer volume of emotional outpour for a guy who simply drove a car fast... staggering. He was a man who lived with his heart on his sleeve, and to be honest, that reminds me a bit of me.

He not only created history, but he shaped it as well. Had he not died, safety would of been much slower to have come forward. People like Kubica owe their life to Senna, and to be fair, Roland, having lost theirs that weekend. The last people to die in a F1 car, and I hope it remains that way.

Had he not died there is very little doubt he would of won 1994 and 1995 - Hill was no match for him and he nearly won 94, and in 95 the car was better. He would of been 35 by then with 5 titles. Had he stayed on for 96 and 97 in that brilliant Williams, its likely Damon Hill and JV would never of been World Champions, who both created a slice of history being sons of legends going on to win the title. Schumacher's career would of panned out differently too. Perhaps it would of convinced Renault to stay on, rather then throwing Williams into mediocrity and beginning their slide downwards. The what if's though are painful to think about.

On the flip side, he died at the peak of his powers. He drove that average McLaren to some astounding results in 93. Donnington, need I say more. He didn't get to an age where his reactions slowed a little, dulled the brilliance. We saw that in Michael, and it was a little sad. However, it would have been amazing to see him and Michael go at it properly.

In a cruel sense of irony, dying the way he did simply cemented his legacy. He dedicated himself so hard to get to the top, and he died whilst leading. He didn't fade with years, only to die from cancer or a heart attack etc. And this makes it harder to cope with too - all your memories are of a still young man and his smile, or those eyes behind that helmet. Or watching him destroy the field at Monaco. Or, or, or...

Ill probably watch Senna tonight again, and I will probably shed a tear again.

Legends never die. Vale.

__________________
I am only an asshole on the internet :)

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]