Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Whats the difference between Tiger's wedge & his car?
At least he can clear a water hazard and a tree with his wedge...

Perhaps Tiger should have used a driver

That’s the first time Tiger Woods has failed to drive 300 yards

After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree.

I find it’s a nightmare driving at 2.05am: sometimes you can’t see the Woods for the trees.

Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is Elin.

Tiger’s wife went for him over a birdie.

What was the second worst part of Tiger’s car accident? The police found the driver in the trunk.

I hear Tiger's wife has improved his game. She made him a true scratch golfer.

How can Tiger Woods be the world's best golfer? He couldn't even avoid a water hazard that was right in front of him.

Eldrick Tont Woods nickname is no longer "Tiger", from now on he will be known as pussy....cat. That`s what happens when your wife beats you up.

Cadillac will drop Woods as a spokesperson, but he will pick up a new sponsor: Hummer. Tiger: "We`ve all got up at an ungodly hour in the morning to get away from a jealous spouse. If you happen to crash into a tree or a fire hydrant: No problem! Nothing can stop a Hummer!"

Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gillette after admitting that his crash was the closest shave he had ever had.

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Signarape!

Crouching tiger hidden hidden hydrant

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Losing is worse than death. You have to live with losing....

The Importance of Strategic Planning.

One night 4 college students were partying until late and did not study for a test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning, they thought of a plan.
They made themselves look as dirty as possible, with grease and dirt.
They then went to the teacher and said that they had gone to a wedding last night and on their return, a tyre burst on their car and they had to push the car all the way back home and that they were in no condition to do the test.
The teacher kindly allowed them to do a re-test after 3 days.
They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day, they went for their test.
The teacher said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days...



The test consisted of 1 single question, worth a total of 100 Marks........




Q. 1. Which tyre?

a) Front Left b) Front Right
c) Back Left d) Back Right

A bloke walks into a pub with a octopus.

The barman says, "You can't come in here with that, please leave!"
The bloke replies "This octopus is a stunt man. He can play ANY musical instrument that you give him!"
"Bullshit" replies the barman, "I bet you $100 he can't play that guitar!"
So the bloke grabs the guitar and gives it to the octopus, out comes this classical Eric Clapton type solo.
"Where's my $100?" he jokes.
The barman, pissed off, says "Right, double or nothing! I bet he can't play that drum kit!"
The bloke takes the octopus to the drum kit and he sits on it, and there he goes, plays a insane solo.
"That's $200 barman, want to keep going?" he states.
"OK, another $100 he can't play that mouth organ". He walks over to the old drunk in the corner, grabs the mouth organ and gives it to the octopus. The barman's jaw drops as the octopus plays the mouth organ. He hands the $300 over to the bloke and says "He really is amazing!". Before he could get another word in, a Scotsmen walks over and goes "I've seen this whole thing" and hands the octopus a set of bagpipes - "I bet you $300 he can't play my bagpipes!" "Your on!!" replies the bloke.
A hour passes and the Scotsmen comes up and cheerfully shouts, "I told you he couldn't play my bagpipes, now where's my $300!!!" The blokes replies "Hold up there mate, once he realises he can't fuck it, he'll play it!!!"

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MY99 - Powered by Autronic, tuned by Race Torque.

www.racetorque.com.au
www.anytimetowing.com.au

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.

They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.


After several years of casual sex all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.



She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.




It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.






Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.


























So, they buried Susie.

Confucius say,

" Treat your woman like your vacuum cleaner.

If she stops sucking, replace the bag."

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Arguably my Automobile is Awash with Alliteration - Subaru Sti S202

I can still remember playtime at school. A bit of footy, sneaking a quick smoke and trying to finger girls behind the bike sheds...
I fucking loved that caretakers job...

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Balls.

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.

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No more GC8, sad face.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

What's the only thing better than eating a mandarin?


Eating Amandar out

Got pics/video??

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No more GC8, sad face.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]