Shower Protocol



How To Shower Like a Woman



Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry
 basket according to lights and darks.




Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.




If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
 areas.



Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
 mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.




Get in the shower.




Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
 wide loofah and pumice stone.




Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
 with 43 added vitamins.




Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.




Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
 enhanced.




Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
 10 minutes until red.




Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
 cake body wash.




Rinse conditioner off hair.



Shave armpits and legs.




Turn off shower.




Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.




Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.




Get out of shower.




Dry with towel the size of a small country.




Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
 on head.




If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
 areas.





How To Shower Like a Man




Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
 and leave them in a pile.



Walk naked to the bathroom.




If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her
 making the 'woo-woo' sound.




Look at your manly physique in the mirror.




Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.




Get in the shower.




Wash your face.




Wash your armpits.




Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
 them off.




Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.




Spend majority of time washing privates and
 surrounding area.




Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on
 the soap.




Wash your hair.




Make a Shampoo Mohawk.




Wee.




Rinse off and get out of shower.




Partially dry off.




Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
 hanging out of bath the whole time.




Admire willy size in mirror again.




Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
 fan on.




Return to bedroom with towel around waist.




If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her
 and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.




Throw wet towel on bed.





I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

__________________
______________
2002 WRX - New Ej207 Short Motor + More in Progress

..OMG! thats so sick it makes other things that are sick look less sick..

Rofl!

__________________
M POWER

haha gold!

If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her
 making the 'woo-woo' sound.

bang on.

__________________
Balls.

Gold :d

__________________
back on the road. woo hoo

should be a part 2 to the cock shaking section - if seated apply turkey slap manoevure

__________________
Current rides :Black FPV Typhoon, WRC Blue 03 WRX manual sedan with 3" exh and defi's, old skool lime green mazda 929 with auto swingin air vents and 14" chrome hubcaps, 5'2" blonde

ROFL do the helicopter


mmm nice hot shower sounds good right about now

-Jaz

HAHA i luv it i don't check my willy in the mirror though. i have a huge block mounted picture of it on the back of the bedroom door instead

mmm i remeber nice hot showers with you jaz..
ahhh memories!

__________________
______________
2002 WRX - New Ej207 Short Motor + More in Progress

..OMG! thats so sick it makes other things that are sick look less sick..

hahahaha

that was a very long time ago

wat... 5/6 yrs ago? :P