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#1
15-11-2005, 01:09 PM
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Girlfriend Cheats. Apologises. Boyfriend Replies.
Apparently going around NY at the moment. 1st is a girl's apology email
>>for cheating on some bloke. 2nd is his reply which was Bcc'd to his >>entire address book. He makes some excellent points. >> >> >>Brad, >> >>It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel >>like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am >>truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people >>in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I >>would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or >>anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us >>had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you >>being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly >>words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking >>that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just >>went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny >>yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I >>can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you >>meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know >>that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is >>something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and >>stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I >>can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to >>say that, and you could say that my behaviour didn't reflect that, and >>you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate >>feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I >>am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what >>happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just >>about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there >>with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in >>the world to rewind and fix it. >> >>I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you >>won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for >>getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at >>your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be >>great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel >>like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was >>not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really >>don't think I can handle that. >> >> >>I am so sorry. >>Elizabeth >> >> >> >>RESPONSE: >> >> >>Dear Elizabeth, >> >> >>Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for >>"Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about". >> >>You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to >>carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of >>whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes >>while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you >>ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is >>grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar. >> >>To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and >>degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour >>span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k >>him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care >>less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world >>revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly >>Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to >>consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news >>for you is that my friends >>don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average >>run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as >>your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty >>hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my >>place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up >>tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning >>commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a >>hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that >>when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top >>of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our >>heads off about the time it happened. >> >>By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you >>really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. >>Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like >>watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know. >> >>PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email. >> >>Talk to you never, >>Brad 
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#3
15-11-2005, 01:31 PM
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bahahaha that is hillarious
"Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans" funny shit
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#4
15-11-2005, 01:41 PM
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RIGHT ON BRUTHA!!!!!!!!
I thought the start was right on the money; Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".
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#7
15-11-2005, 02:17 PM
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bwahahahhahahahahhahahahaha Stupid Cheating girlfriends!!! How great was his opening Line hahahahahaha
also this bit was gold! The good news >>for you is that my friends >>don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average >>run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as >>your average child porn collector. Last edited by DAN682; 15-11-2005 at 02:45 PM.
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| apologises, boyfriend, cheats, girlfriend, replies |
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