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  #11  
Old 08-03-2010, 09:23 AM
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http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=72

This ones a goodie
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  #12  
Old 08-03-2010, 09:30 AM
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LOL, whilst we're on the subject of guns, this e-mail made me LOL

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket... The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone,
and wallet with me.

[That prevented you from calling
or running to your buddies
to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that?
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment
for your threatened crime.

I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
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  #13  
Old 08-03-2010, 08:14 PM
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"Jenny,

Why don't you feel comfortable breaking a window? Don't worry, I was going to get that window replaced with a wall anyway so my girlfriend can't look outside while she is doing the dishes."

I laughed, so hard.
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  #14  
Old 08-03-2010, 08:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurtenstein View Post
"Jenny,

Why don't you feel comfortable breaking a window? Don't worry, I was going to get that window replaced with a wall anyway so my girlfriend can't look outside while she is doing the dishes."

I laughed, so hard.
Yeah, that was gold!
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  #15  
Old 09-03-2010, 12:00 AM
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classic....
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Nissan 180SX 1993 - Sold
Ford Laser 1995 - Sold
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  #16  
Old 09-03-2010, 07:22 AM
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You lot find the funniest stuff. Gave me a good laugh.
Thank you for sharing.
Nat
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  #17  
Old 09-03-2010, 02:53 PM
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I love this one, found on some blog

"I took your purse and felt a connection.

Tuesday night around 11:30. On 53rd btw 1st and 2nd. You came out of the subway and I followed you. You looked over your shoulder, saw me and started walking faster. I ran up, grabbed your arm, took your purse and ran away. I heard you yelling for help but let's be honest, this is New York. The only way people would come running is if you yelled "Free Weed!"

I've done many a snatch-and-grab but no one has ever stuck in my mind like you. There was a quick moment when our eyes met that I felt something strong. I think you felt it too. If I wasn't so shy (or so committing a crime) I would have asked your name. I, of course, later got your name from your drivers license. So Jennifer if you'd like to get together for a drink sometime get back to me.

Oh, and I can give you back your purse. Your credit cards are still there but I spent the cash (sorry). And my room mate took your tampons. I don't know what he does with them but he always takes the tampons. If it works out between us I'll totally buy you some new ones ;-) "
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  #18  
Old 09-03-2010, 09:22 PM
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quality lol's!!
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