Not only do you own one of my all time favourite cars, an A80 Supra, but your tattoo-adorned biceps, chrome rimmed sunnies and metrosexual faux-hawk gets me all excited.

I love the way you propel your white, 4 wheeled, barged-arsed penis extension in a forward motion, doing 100 clicks in a 60 zone. The skill you showed to pull up quickly in the right hand lane when you realised a car had stopped in front of you intending to turn right was mesmerizing. The only thing it lacked was smoke.... and cognitive function.

However you left me heart-broken after pretending to follow me to my place of residence. I am gutted. I rushed next door to tell my neighbour (a friendly local Police Officer) about our brief encounter... it's a shame you didn't follow. He would have loved to have met you too.

Hopefully I will see you again one day soon, tearing up my rear. If not, best of luck with your traffic weaving, tailgating adventures!

adios, douche pouch

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