why do gay men prefer ribbed condoms?
for better traction in the mud...

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There's a hoon in every Typhoon

Bugger, beat me to it

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2015 Forester XT Premium
2020 VW Tiguan Allspace
teejay: If I wanted a comeback Id wank in front of a fan

"You have a vagina like a Tardis" said the gynaecologist.

"Really?!" tittered the young woman, "Larger on the inside than it really looks?"

"No," he replied, "I'm the Doctor and I'm about to enter you."

A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop.

After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch; it doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."

"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me."

"I understand every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent and thoroughly educated bird."

"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked, I will tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy, "you really can understand and answer; can't you?"

"Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. And I am especially good at ornithology. You should buy me; I am a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. He says. "I can't afford that."

"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. "Nobody wants me because I don't have any feet. You can get me for $20.00; just make an offer."

The guy offers twenty dollars and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by and the parrot is sensational. He's funny; he's interesting; he's a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, and gives good advice. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Pssst," and motions him over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the cage. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not," says the parrot, "but it's about your lover and the mailman."

"What?" asks the guy.

"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your lover greeted him in a pair of briefs that showed everything and kissed him on the mouth."

"What happened then?" asks the guy.

"Then the mailman came into the house and put his hand on your lovers crotch and began petting him all over," reports the parrot.

"My God!" the guy says. "Then what?"

"Then he pulled down the briefs, got down on his knees and began to lick him, starting with his chest, slowly going down and down." The parrot pauses for a long time...

"What happened? What happened?" says the frantic guy.

"That's what pisses me off. I don't know." said the parrott. "I got a hard-on, and fell off my fucking perch."

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2005 WRX STI

^^^^^^^
Hahahaha. nice one.

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Have Fun.

why are africans so tall?










because their kneegrows

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly home to watch the
Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing
and advanced prostate problems and that the only cure was testicular removal.

"No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"

The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal
was the only cure...Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the corner he found an
expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said:
"Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate suckness ey."

"What's the cure thin doc?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.

"Wull, Wiremu"...said the Kiwi doctor
"Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."

"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu...
“Those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

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[COLOR=plum]Scoobies for Boobies ![/COLOR][COLOR=magenta]Yay for Pink Bits [/COLOR]
[COLOR=deepskyblue]One Speed, One Gear...Goooooooooooooooo....or six in my case :P[/COLOR]

//estreladesign.com.au
https://www.facebook.com/EstrelaDesign

What do you say if you meet a jewish kiwi?

He brew!

If a Maori had 10 apples, 5 oranges and a banana and you took 5 apples, an orange and his banana, What would you have?






A broken nose and no teeth.

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Have Fun.

Why haven't there been any Maori's on the moon?














Scaffolding doesn't reach that far.

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No more GC8, sad face.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]