It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar..." The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."





Joe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear. The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," says Joe and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. Joe, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. Joe stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Joe moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, Joe replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"

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-2009 Evo X GSR-

difference between a black fellah and a park bench is that the bench can support a family

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06 sti

I waited until we were alone in the church before approaching him.
"Father?" I said, causing him to turn and look at me.
"I'm sure you won't remember me Father, but 20 years ago I was one of the altar boys you brutally abused."
I could see immediate panic and shame in his eyes as he struggled to find words, "I.. I don't know.."
"Save it Father," I said unbuckling my trousers, "It's payback time."
"Please.. No.." He pleaded.
"On your knees Father," I commanded, "or I go to the authorities and you'll be ruined."
As he slowly sunk to the floor in resignation, I felt a satisfied grin forming on my face.





I'd never met the old prick before, but I've found it's an almost sure fire way of getting a free blowjob.

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2005 WRX STI

Walking down the Aisle;


I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my Misses walking down the Aisle towards me,

My heart was beating so fast, and the expectation was almost unbearable.

It seemed like forever, but eventually there she was, stood beside me.

I gave her a cheeky wink, and said........


"Get that fucking trolley over here, they are doing 3 crates of Stella for the price of 2"!

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2005 WRX STI

Police have found evidence that will prove Oscar pistorious innocent.

Footprints...




Surely Oscar Pistorius can't be the first bloke to wake up legless on Valentine's Day after shooting a load into his girlfriend's face whilst imagining she was someone else?

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-2009 Evo X GSR-

A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling, so the barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on him.
"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the customers." "Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps biting my balls!" "Sir, get off the mop bucket."

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-2009 Evo X GSR-

A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctor described his condition as stable...

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-2009 Evo X GSR-

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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

Anthony Mundine goes to the doctor and says

Hey Doc.............I get sexually aroused when I look into the mirror.

I'm not surprised said the doctor........................... You're a cunt

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[COLOR=RoyalBlue][B][I]Titanium Reinforced[/I][/B]
MY00 Impreza WRX | MY11 Liberty GT Premium[/COLOR]

What's the difference between 3 cocks and a joke?

Your mum can't take a joke.

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168kw & 300nm @ the brochure