OMG thats Thodd!!!

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https://www.facebook.com/JanGlovacPhotography

MY05 STI track car | VF Clubsport

Adult Fairy Tales

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking
love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .
Peter, Peter, something or other..."
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PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
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LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
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MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f ** king Goofy."
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SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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Did you know ...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
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One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged in sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.

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Evolution 8 MR

Forester GT

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little
5 year old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe
that we can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our
time...

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot.

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the
empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all
the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the
workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or
less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and
lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her
feel important.

At the end of the week they even presented her with a pay envelope
containing a couple of dollars.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the
appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two
dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a
savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked
the
little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young
age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew
building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the
house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those arseholes at Bunnings ever
deliver the fucking Gyprock..."

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back on the road. woo hoo

Are you male or female?

To find the answer, look down!!!



















































































Not here, Stupid !!!!

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Evolution 8 MR

Forester GT

Guy walks into a bar, looks around a bit and leans on the bar and orders a drink.

He says to the barman, "you know, I could have sex with any woman in this pub tonight if I wanted to"

The barman looks at him and laughs, "that's a big call mate, what makes you so sure you could have sex with any woman here tonight?"

The guy leans in to the barman and says:











"Because I'm a rapist"

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
means a smile and is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-) :-(

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

__________________
Evolution 8 MR

Forester GT

A South African was sitting with an Aussie and an Englishman in Saudi
Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden the
police entered and arrested them. They were initially given the death
sentence but contested this and were finally imprisoned for life. But
as it was a national holiday, the Sheikh decided they should be
released after each receiving 20 lashes of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said:
"It's my first wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one
wish before your whipping, but you can not wish to not be whipped!"

The Englishman thought for a second then said: "Please tie a pillow to
my back before whipping." This was done but the pillow only lasted 10
lashes before the whip went through. The Englishman cried in pain.

The Aussie saw this and said: "Please tie 2 pillows to my back before
whipping." This was done and lasted for the whole 20 lashes.

The Aussie stood up smiling.

The South African saw this but before he could make his wish, the
Sheikh said: "As you are from South Africa with all that crime, a cricket team
who is always losing in a final and a rugby team who can't win anything, you
are permitted to have two wishes!"

The South African thought for a second, then said: "Thank you most
Royal and Merciful Highness. My first wish is to receive a hundred lashes with the strongest, toughest whip available."

"If you so desire," the Sheikh replies with a questioning look on his
face, "and your second wish?"
.
.
.

"Tie the Aussie to my back"

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05 STi Spec C Type Ra
04 LL Bean Outback

^^^^^gold!!!

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MY04 WRX CLUBSPEC 7

Kids Science Answers.

If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam
Answers.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized (eg. abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the
heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E,
I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be EIGHT

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Evolution 8 MR

Forester GT

After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.

"Who the hell are you?", demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St Peter".

Brian was stunned. "You mean I'm dead?

That can't be, I have so much to live for.

I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away."

St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated, but there is a catch.

We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen. How are you enjoying your first day here?

"It's not so bad," replied Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."

"Never," replied Brian.

"Well, just relax and let it happen."

And so he did, and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg popped out from under his tail.

An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him... ever!!!

The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting, "Brian! Wake up, you drunk bastard, You're shitting the bed."