Yep... after 28 years of being together, 26 of them as married, with 3 terrific kids all over 18. Been separated for almost 2 years under the same roof (DAMN, that's hard for a bloke).

While she called the separation, I recently called the divorce coz she refused to do so. She said that the only reason to call divorce is because of plans to remarry? I just don't get it.

Decided the house had to go on the market and a For Sale sign is out the front now . We have two thirds equity over the mortgage.

Did a list of goods & chattels, valued everything and by what I thought was a fair list for mutual agreement (I'm giving her twice the value of what I want to keep), she is still hostile and in heavy disagreement. While at the same time, she don't wanna involve lawyer$.

She just lost her receptionist job, and advice I've received is that I could be liable for "spousal maintenance" coz of loss of job & earning capacity.


Oh, and she gets to keep the WRX coz my Subi wagon is for my tradie job & we each need a car upon divorce .

Any advice guys/girls?

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MY99 WRX sedan WRC blue Sold :(
MY99 WRX sedan Dark blue pearl :D
MY97 Liberty Outback Ltd Wagon
1990 Mk3 Supra turbo fully rebuilt 7M-GTE (Older son)
1991 Celica GT4 (Younger son)

Lawyer, get one.

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If it's getting full on already, when you're trying to be nice, Adz is spot on. Find one that has extensive experience in your type of situation

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Cheers,

Simon.

I hear ya guys, but the one thing we both agree on is that we don't wanna line the lawyers' pockets. They then end up being the only winners in these things. (Not that a divorcing couple wins in any way except a path to freedom from each other).

There is still a chance of amicable settlement thru mediation and I'm willing to concede to a point... at least that way we wont each be paying 4 figures for lawyers and I consider I'll come out in front on a personal basis than if I go down the lawyer route.

The only other thing I'm concerned about is that it still has to go thru the Family Law Court and apparently they have a monitoring process these days, whereby they will intervene and make a new ruling if it can be seen that one party is significantly worse off financially.

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MY99 WRX sedan WRC blue Sold :(
MY99 WRX sedan Dark blue pearl :D
MY97 Liberty Outback Ltd Wagon
1990 Mk3 Supra turbo fully rebuilt 7M-GTE (Older son)
1991 Celica GT4 (Younger son)

Yeah, after this is all done and wrapped up, don't get married again.

Have a girlfriend, have a partner, have a friend, but don't get married.

This is coming from someone who has once lost everything, now has: his own house, 2 cars, a son, a dog, money in the bank, and no woman telling me what to do or making me feel like shit when she isn't happy. Can I just say that life is pretty fcking good because I don't have the stress of a marriage on my shoulders.

I dont necessarily agree that burning 100k in lawyers fighting each other helps either one of you at the end.

Try mediation.

It is certainly not fair to be seperated yet living together either.

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I am only an asshole on the internet :)

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But once you live with them for a year or two (if you decide to) isn't it classed as defecto and like a marriage anyway?

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1997 White GC8 WRX - 3" TBE, Apexi pod, V6 STI TMIC, Kei Office coilovers, Whiteline F strut brace, GReddy Profec B Spec II, 2004 F&R brakes..

My advice would be to go and talk to the lawyer by yourself. Dont tell the wife about it. At least then you will know the current processes and what is likely to happen if everything turns to shit.

When i got divorced i used o'sullivan davies in the city who were great but they certainly know how to charge. When it came time to lodging the actual papers they rang me and said i could do it or if i wanted them to do it they would but they would charge me $500 for the pleasure. I lodged the papers and some time later i got my divorce certificate in the mail. It was all pretty painless really. Fortunately though i had no kids / mortgages involved.

Brendon

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Losing is worse than death. You have to live with losing....

Yup and you lose it all anyway !


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Not necessarily true.

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