Right, the company I work for employs about 100 people and I am in charge (amongst other things) for all the resources. i.e. phones / vehicles / tools etc.

Anyways some of these retards never cease to amaze me. So I thought I could put up some of the more frustrating oxygen thieves and their antics and some people can get an idea as to why I throw stuff around my office so often. Feel free to add other stupid things that your fellow employees do.

Ok. Retard 1 (been with the company over 5 years / has company vehicle which he got by deception / in a position with a lot of responsibility / he is always based in the one location) kills his phone. I sent him a brand new samsung tradesman thing about 2 weeks ago. All is good. Today I get a call asking if I had anymore chargers laying around. I ask him why he needs another one. his reply. "because the battery only lasts 2-3 days and if I forget to charge it at home it goes flat during the day at work". I ask him if he can not bring the charger in from home and leave it at work. "Yeah but the charger is very touchy and if you knock it it stops charging". I ask can you not check it before you go to bed? "Didn't think of that but I still want one."

So my logic is either he has lost his charger or the dog has eaten it etc and he is too stingy to buy another one.

Now what I want to do is take it off him and give him a shitty old nokia where there are heaps of chargers laying around the office etc and get his brand new phone off him. Rather childish I know but it is soo frustrating.

Rant off.

Brendon

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Losing is worse than death. You have to live with losing....

Fucken air pirates! Give him an old phone with monophonic ringtones.

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WGM

give him a morse code machine

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www.racewars.com.au

Fuckwit #2 - I feel like a coffee so i fill up the jug and multitask by going to the yoilet while waiting for it to boil.

Come back and employee has used the full jug to disinfect his spoon and left the jug empty.

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Twin scroll Pig Bi-Squeeling

Fuckwit #3 - Hey Dave, go and fill the trucks up. Here is the motorcharge card.
He comes back. The truck wont start it is stuck at the petrol station. I ask why? He says I dunno. I go down to the petrol station, truck is parked at the UNLEADED bowser where he has just filled the Diesel truck with 75 litres of Regular.

Sam fuckwit a few months later (new truck) hey Dave, go and fill the truck up.. WITH DIESEL. Ok. So he comes back, its full, heres the receipt for the 144L. I thank him. I go and take the truck out and it is on half a tank. I think wtf, gauge must be fucked as I read with my own eyes 144L. I pull over just to check to see if he put the cap on. NOPE cap is blowing in the breeze on the end of the chain whilst 75L of Diesel has gushed out of the tank.

Needless to say he no longer fills the trucks.

Do it.

I had a guy at work, lost his fancy PDA on the first week of a three week trip to one of our sites in Germany. Never bothered to contact me until he was back to let me know the phone was lost.

On his return saw me first thing monday morning and I him provided with a spare nokia as a stand-in. Monday evening expected to know why it was taking it so long to source a replacement, Oblivous to the fact had he told me 3 weeks ago i would have had a spare for him.

Decided enough was enough, sourced a hand me down PDA of the same brand and gave it to him next morning. was advised he didnt want a hand me down. So told him tough if he wants a new one speak to the GM.

To my surprise he did, decided while he was at it he would go get an iphone which wasnt part of our SOE. (He knows this, i told him the models he could have)

Decided to disregard my advice, have now told him in no uncertain terms when the iphone arrives and something goes wrong with it, he will be configuring it and fixing it himself.

LOL had a very similar thing happen to me. The dude slipped me a $50 to make the iPhone work. Was easy money. I love you outlook anywhere

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No more GC8, sad face.
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